☺ You know you’re getting old when everything hurt. As a mid-fifty something this one hit home. This group accounts for a little more than a third (35%) of the U.S. population. i won't let a little thing like age slow me down! I try to smile a lot to counteract the tendency of the lips to turn downward with age. fun & encouragement. So many things you mentioned that I can relate to. I had a few laughs myself as I wrote it. Paul Kuehn: Thank you so very much for your comment, praise and share. Then he toddles into the kitchen. It was not a good idea to be talking to your boyfriends on a party line. Sunshine: If you are not old now, you will be one day. Linda Bilyeu from Orlando, FL on March 02, 2015: It's official...I'm old. Not to worry. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. I've always had the philosophy that "age is just a state of mind," and I've always been pretty active and fun-loving. seem worth waiting in line for. half as long. Aging is accompanied by a lot of physical changes. Congrats on the great grandkids. I love what you said "After 40 time stands still." Thanks for your comment. Getting older has its perks. Great hub, very funny and also very accurate. Now I'm not sure. the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a So how can you tell when you are getting old? i am so old i still write "ha-ha" instead of LOL. The two gentlemen were talking, and one says, 'Last Voted up and more and sharing, G+. Maybe my face can get stuck with a smile. I’m ok with getting older. After about 20 minutes, Annuity Direct: It's is so nice of you to let me know that you found my hub fun. They'll never share them because they can't remember them. Thanks for some good laughs and giggles, Catherine. Know how to prevent sagging? Thank you for commenting. Glad you enjoyed the hub. One I heard the other day is You know you're getting old when you bend over to tie your shoe and wonder what else you can do while you're down there. Did you know FL where you and I both live has the highest percent of people 65+ of all the states. ~Victor Hugo; No one is so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm. I met a man a couple of weeks ago that said that most of his social life was talking to other people in doctors' waiting rooms. You get two invitations to go out on the same night, and you pick the one that gets you home the earliest. The “old-old” group is aged 85 and older. Lady Lorelei: The population of the entire world and almost every nation has an increasing percentage of old people. So glad you liked my humor about aging. Catherine Giordano (author) from Orlando Florida on July 24, 2015: Rueben Blanca Espana: It was so nice of you to let me know that you liked my jokes and remarks about getting. Life is good. A couple in their nineties are both having problems The twinkle in your eye is only a reflection from the sun on your bifocals. Age doesn’t matter because you’re only as old as you feel. Not to be picky ( and I don’t believe I know this) but here goes regarding McDonald’s: burgers were .15; cheese burgers were .20; French fries were .12; drink was .10. Thelma Alberts from Germany and Philippines on May 25, 2015: Thanks for making me laugh today. Those other parties could pick up the phone and hear your conversation. Bill De Giulio from Massachusetts on May 25, 2015: Hi Catherine. Thanks for the fun read. Thanks for letting me know that you fund these one-liners type jokes hilarious. fruit orchard. My motto has become, "live and let live. Here are a few funny quotes and happy birthday memes about getting older to remind you to keep an open mind, because it’s really not that bad and aging can be quite funny. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. It sounds like your family knows how to laugh about getting older. As he came closer he saw a bunch of You are so right about what the biggest benefit of aging is. Bronwen Scott-Branagan from Victoria, Australia on February 28, 2015: Great article. Catherine Giordano (viz Pixabay, modified). At least I know I’ll qualify for Social Security in about 25 years (if it’s still around). "I've raised my kids." & inspiring kids, holiday He made the women These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, The birthday cake has a lot of candles, even when each candle represents a decade. You look back fondly at your 40th birthday and laugh at all the trauma you felt about getting so old. You're getting old when your wife gives up sex for Lent, and you don't know till the 4th of July. What can we do about aging except laugh? Of course, age is just a number. Thank you for your comment. from his chair. he Soda machines that dispensed glass bottles, Telephone numbers with a word prefix (Butterfield 8), 15-cent McDonald hamburgers with 10-cent fries, 5-cent packs of baseball cards with that slab of pink bubblegum. I'd forgotten about candy cigarettes. "For fast relief.". I was only a young child when my family had a party line. Here are a few funny quotes about getting older from the author over at just some stuff i wrote down on Facebook. It sounds exactly right. I can't say specifically for Japan. There are currently six million people in this age group and is the fastest growing age group. You know you're getting old when you have to subtract the current year from the year of your birth to make sure of your age because you can't believe how old you are. The pharmacist has become your new best friend. fpherj48: You have made my day with your comment. Jun 23, 2013 - Explore Danielle's Taste Bud Ticklers's board "Getting Old Quotes", followed by 762 people on Pinterest. 3.You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. as yu get older, you spend a lot more time at the doctors. 1. Catherine Giordano (va Pixabay, modified). I'm not quite the Happy Days generation. 25Signs That You Are Getting Old. You used to make fun of adult diaper commercials, and now you're clipping coupons for them "just in case." You're young. Hang on tight and don't change a thing. ~Henry David Thoreau; We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. plate of bacon and eggs. Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like Funny Rude Birthday or Valentines Day card 40th 50th 60th 70th Birthday for Wife, Husband, Mum / Mom, Father / Dad, Grandmother / Granny / Grandma, Grandpa / Grandfather or old friend Getting old / aged / age / over the hill / grey. ', The old man thought for a second and said, 'I didn't come An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her I'm certain you'll forget I wish I had thought of "recycled teenager." You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. 1. The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity. Catherine Giordano (author) from Orlando Florida on May 02, 2015: OK. Now I understand. Things are looking up! Once I stopped dyeing my hair, I noticed people go out of their way to help me. I would be unstoppable, if I could only get started...... "I am having amnesia, dementia, Aren't all gifts free? At NobleWorks Cards, our hilariously humorous selection of old age jokes will have you and your friends and relatives laughing so hard that you'll feel young again - if you don't die laughing. 1. Funny Getting Older Jokes I Got You Started, It's Your Turn (we change this page often, check back) Share YOUR funny getting older jokes, quotes and one-liners below. Take care Catherine. Laughing can make you live longer. Very nice hub and really funny. Rocking in a rocking chair feels like a roller coaster ride. You know you are getting old if you look back on the times you partied all night and still got up and went to work the next morning and you wonder how you ever did it. A trip down memory lane is always fun. Catherine Giordano (author) from Orlando Florida on March 01, 2015: Linda Crampton from British Columbia, Canada on March 01, 2015: This is an interesting and very amusing hub, Catherine! I guess I was too serious in my related hub. ', The other man asks, 'What is the name of the restaurant?' Enjoy. But it can still be great sex. and took a five gallon bucket to pick some fruit. The "Butterfield-8" I used as an example was the name of a novel by John O'Hara. totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!". Demographers often divide the older population into three stages. that, write it down.' Your comment made me laugh. I hope it made you smile. This is for me This is for a friend. If you knew that, it's another sign you might be old. preacher she had two final requests. Thanks for all the interesting research and statistics. I love the sense of fun that flows through this awesome hub. Helga Silva from USA on December 06, 2015: Very nice hub and really funny. Voted up and more. Your style is eminently readable. intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well of the women shouted to him, 'We're not coming out until you (I'd list them if I could be bothered.). Sadly, I remember too many 'old' things on your other list. Have you had this feeling when you look at the people you have known for a long time and you notice that they are looking old—how did they get older when I haven’t gotten any older? You turn out the lights for economic, rather than romantic, reasons. Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age. it is better than being young. Patricia Scott from North Central Florida on February 27, 2015: Just in case I had any doubt, you have cleared that up for me totally. They will be added at the end of this page as links and open in their own page. friends. I'm a baby boomer and it's a great group to belong to. :) And I'm not even officially old yet. Thanks so much for your enthusiastic sharing. when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto 50) 80 has proven to be a challenge, but fun too. My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. - John Barrymore In old age, we yearn to be kids. (Check out this award-winning book, Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex if you don't believe it.) winded, and subject to blackouts. forget to pull up your zipper. Up FUNNY shared pinned Tweeted. should write it down, so's not to forget it? You new theme song is "I've Got Boobs In Low Places." chicken? This group is sometimes called the “slow-go years.” People in this group have become less active. "I want to have fun." She stares at the plate for a BlossomSB: Glad you enjoyed the jokes and found the statistics interesting. I'm glad I could make you laugh today. The president is younger than you. Recently I had a birthday, but this post isn’t really about that. I credit HubPages and my Min. this way. Laughter keeps us young at heart and as many physical benefits also. the pond naked. Catherine Giordano (author) from Orlando Florida on May 25, 2015: Thelma Alberts: Today I am feeling glad about being old because of comments like yours. ~George Bernard Shaw; Age is not how old you are but how many years of fun you’ve had. Number 10 on my list happened recently, and it got me thinking, as I am known to do. is gone. I don't dye my hair either. Catherine Giordano (author) from Orlando Florida on August 26, 2018: i am 66 and i can out-walk most 20 year olds. This is called crystalized intelligence, and it keeps getting better, even when you’re 65 or 70. In the developed world, people who are age 65 can expect to live on average for 18 more years. Don't let these stupid jokes make you feel otherwise. And it is a fact that laugher adds years to your life and life to your years. One evening he decided to go down to the pond You have more patience, but actually it's just that you don't care anymore. You know you're getting old when you find yourself shopping for You Know You're Old When. Catherine Giordano (author) from Orlando Florida on May 24, 2015: Thanks DzyMsLizzy. The aging of the population is occurring due to increases in longevity and declining birth rates. “The problem with getting older was not so much that one got stuck on the past, Vivi often thought, but that there was so much more of the past to get lost in.” ― Jojo Moyes, The Peacock Emporium My husband is actually 9 years younger than I, but he's had more health problems, so physically, he's "older." Around my family we always say we have gotten another ring around our trunk instead of saying we had another birthday... because we all tend to get a little wider in the girth each birthday anyway... the implication being if you cut us in half and counted the rings you would know our ages. This was such a fun read, and I can certainly identify with everything you wrote. Chris Mills from Traverse City, MI on March 02, 2015: Very funny and all too true. remember it! Catherine Giordano (author) from Orlando Florida on April 30, 2015: Kristen Howe: I'm glad you enjoyed my humorous tidbits on aging. Voted up and sharing with HP followers. Kitty O’Neill Collins. ", When I was younger I feared what old age would bring, but now I'm liking the fact that aging isn't as scary as I had feared. I have already some signs but I fight against them;-))) Sharing this awesome funny hub in my fb account. Then you Yeah, I haven't noticed how I am physically aging until I start looking at earlier pictures of myself and pictures of my classmates as they look today. The oldest of the baby-boomers turned 65 in 2011. But it's okay --- they know Who's old? Boy she sure has a sense of humor for an "older lady". I wouldn't have written this if I wasn't old and then I wouldn't have gotten all these nice comments and shares. More Old Age Jokes. Loraine Brummer from Hartington, Nebraska on April 14, 2015: I love your article. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you? after eating, the wives leave the tableand go into the Old age brings a lot of changes to your social life. Voted up. Thank you so much, Ann. The young'uns can see what is in their future. thanks for the laughs, i will share with the few people i know who are still alive! Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked Thank you for this one. It's like, "See if you can blow this out." Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Plus I think of HP as my legacy. you can be immature for your entire life. Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet “Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.”. Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on March 01, 2015: When my tech ability is not up to par, I feel old; other than that l feel privileged. - Ashley Montagu "A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams." I thought I was getting old until I read the last three....I know the meanings of "tweet, "hooking up" and "being gay"..so I'm ok, besides I have a few years to go before 65....so I feel better now. So read on, and enjoy! rebeccamealey: Do you remember red wax lips. Read up on our old age jokes and “getting old” jokes to live forever. Your goals change. As you get older, your secrets are safe with your friends. finding more funny things in life. Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can Maybe you Thanks Julie K Henderson. theory on aging is that I want people to know 'why' I look I'm a baby-boomer in the "young-old" category, according to your chart. Also, my Hmm, Catherine Giordano (author) from Orlando Florida on March 13, 2015: I have to add one more thing to my list. Oh what a fun read! The “middle old” is aged 75 to 84. Thanks for commenting. People over 50 always think that old age is ten years older than they are now. Happy to say the humour remains intact and I had a fun time reading your lists and reminiscing - good to know I'm not alone. Woody Allen. At least I hope so. I've traveled a long way and many of the roads During a checkup, the doctor tells them Getting old is not so bad considering the alternative, so let's take a humorous look at aging. Thanks for the laugh. As someone who is too rapidly approaching that 'old age is 65' definition, it is all rather depressing for me, though I do take heart from the suggestion that being old is when 'the president is younger than you are.' the name of that flower you give to someone you love? I swear no-one warned me, it just seemed to happen. Previous Funny Joke | Next Funny Joke. It takes twice as long to look half as good. First, she wanted to be ', Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the Getting older can sometimes mean finding more funny things in life. I resemble that way too much. Thanks for ocomment. You sit back in your rocking chair, remember the good old days…and then you sob uncontrollably. Just eat till the wrinkles This group is referred to as the "no-go years” because people in this age group are the least likely to be active. Glad you enjoyed it PAITDRIPS. dues!" 'I'd also like whipped cream. It’s not fair.You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. instead of a year. Very cute hub! Thanks for your inspirational comment. lambservant: I came across your first joke, but I had not heard the one about the older engaged couple registering for wedding gifts at the pharmacy. It's streaked with silver. I'm glad I made you laugh. The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. I say being grey-haired is the next best thing to being a big-busted blonde when it comes to getting men to do things for you. But first, we need to know who this is for. You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. The older we get, the fewer things preservatives I can get. Mel Carriere from San Diego California on March 02, 2015: I remembered all those things except the word prefix on the phone number. An elderly farmer in Florida had a large pond down by his Yeah I know, age is a state of mind and all that, but one can never ignore the physical and mental things that happen when the years start ticking by. Always I feel grateful especially when I can enjoy humor like you shared. kitchen. 'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. I laugh every time I reread this hub. writing things down to help them remember. Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a happy. John Kerry wa older than you when he ran. ... the candles on your birthday cake cost more than the cake. I laugh every time I see it again. For one, you’re good at using what you’ve learned. And what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work. You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before. I work with a bunch of guys well into their seventies (and still wanting to work) they are more active and fitter than many of the thirty year olds we see on our buses...Something seriously wrong there! - Dorothy Canfield Fisher "The idea is to die young as late as possible." me here. Turning 80 means your favorite romantic song is probably now a laxative commercial. I'm glad I gave you a laugh today. I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip I'm done with wild oats. Catherine Giordano (author) from Orlando Florida on March 20, 2015: tobusiness: If we are lucky, we get old--some sooner than others. Now I don't "Why Plenty of myths about aging have been debunked, like the idea that aging dooms you to a life of lethargy and unhappiness. I got it, for goodness sake!'. MsDora: Grateful is exactly the right feeling and it is my feeling too. You’re the one calling the police because those kids next door are having a loud party. The Japanese have always been a long-lived people, but I think the birth rate is down also. When you get old, your secrets are safe with your friends. My pleasure. Of course, geriatric sex is nothing like the sex of your youth. Have a great holiday. You can't be young forever, but immaturity can last a life time. I believe we all deserve our own fantasy...LOL....Thanks for the chuckle. I remember vividly most of the things in your sidebar list, except I wasn't paying any attention to the price of gas in my young years, and my mother's washer wasn't a wringer type--though there was an old-fashioned stand-alone wringer kicking around in the garage. 54) 80 with five loving children. "Life is like a roll of toilet paper. This group is nicknamed the “go-go years.” People in this group tend to be active and often do a lot of traveling. exercising. one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, One 5. "After 40+ TIME STANDS STILL. Getting lucky means you found your car in the parking lot. I would recommend it very highly. Did your mother ever say, "don't make faces or your face will get stuck like that." Aging and getting older … that they're physically okay, but they might want to start 51) 80 means you are "queen of the hill." I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired I told him it was silver (I don't dye it)! . Voted up for funny! A fun but informative read. I don't mind getting old, there is a beauty about all stages in our life. One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that There are even some pretty amazing perks. Age is just a state of mind. ", Your friends marry and divorce instead of “make-out” and “break up.”. this before . “If you’re not getting older, you’re dead.” —Tom Petty, American singer (Discover the little-known facts about the greatest songs of all time.) lbrummer: Your comment was so great. moment. I  planted some bird seed. grow old The population of almost every country in the world is aging. memory's not as sharp as it used to be. LOL). You know you are getting old when everything either dries Thanks! Mary615: What can we do about aging except laugh. I need all the preservatives I can get. I don't mind getting old, there is a beauty about all stages in our life. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet This was great, and boy, can I relate! The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes." (See--when I make rhymes, it's by accident and not design. I did not recognise many of the one-liners, even though I once wrote a quotation hub on a similar topic - it just goes to show how many elements there are to getting older. And collecting funny memes is … by Sally Tamarkin. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your Love the 'rocking chair feels like a roller coaster'! I call Florida "God's waiting room"! I like the humorous approach and I couldn't stop laughing. Catherine Giordano (author) from Orlando Florida on March 07, 2015: travmaj: Yes this old-age thing just sneaks up on us. Lori Colbo from Pacific Northwest on February 27, 2015: These are great. I think I've forgotten a freeway. great. Work is a lot of fun, and fun is a lot of work. It's okay to poke fun at yourself because life is short and shouldn't be taken so seriously all the time. It is interesting to see the statistics related to age. I remember two for a penny candies. up or leaks. laughing with glee. LOL! You think “hooking up” is a knitting technique. Thank you. It's about a woman, but you can probably relate. That's just a theory, because I wonder if Japans high elderly population is because of their longevity vs ours? Catherine Giordano (author) from Orlando Florida on March 03, 2015: Thanks for your comment Mel: My phone number as a young teen was Astoria 8 followed by 4 numbers I no longer remember. Fun Things About Getting Older November 9, 2017 November 29, 2017 cairooneill Okay I know I may not exactly be an OAP but the fact I’m getting older has been on my mind A LOT lately. You would probably like my hub "Embracing My Inner Crone." Now I need a nap. LOL Thanks for the great laugh. Thank you for your praise of my writing style. Catherine Giordano (author) from Orlando Florida on February 27, 2015: Jodah: I agree, you have to be really out of it to not know those last three. Thanks for your comment. I love time with the grandchildren and they don't think I'm that old most of the time - my older granddaughter once called me 'wicked', the best compliment ever! The very best thing about this is....if we can laugh at it all and accept the inevitable with grace.....the truth is we're Young-at-heart. young women skinny-dipping in the pond. Not you either. I live in my own little world. Jo Alexis-Hagues from Lincolnshire, U.K on March 20, 2015: This will resonate with many of us baby-boomers. This one is true. Maybe people will still be reading my stuff after I am gone. Krzysztof Willman from Parlin, New Jersey on June 23, 2015: This is so funny, well done, and everybody should be reading this because age doesn't have to define you. At my age, I don't want to eat health food. That's what I doo, how I feel, etc." But first a few statistics about aging. Go. Statistics show us that the world’s population is aging. week.". At last I've found a reason to celebrate the election of Mr Trump! what does THAT mean? Your wild oats have turned into bran flakes. No need for “age is just a number” quotes; we cannot remember our age anyhow. Of course, I know how old I am. ', He says, 'I can remember that. He has a t-shirt that reads, "I'm not old: I'm a recycled teenager!". Sadly I remember most of the things in the list. Catherine Giordano (author) from Orlando Florida on December 06, 2015: Helga Silva: The senior years can be the best years of one's life. Thanks for the comment. Great hub and thanks! They graduated school without Google or Wikipedia. Just like the NSA today. remember it?' 52) Gives you the authority of a True Matriarch. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license. Nothing enhances the good old days more than a poor memory. You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police. I still need a decade to be officially "young old". Your rocking chair feels like a roller coaster. class was over. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Some people try to turn back their odometers. The humor is the last to go. I am expecting two new Great Grandchildren just any day, so that should tell you I am older than God!! Keep It Light. – Unknown ☺ Respect old people. When you become old, your toys would become antiques. ~Matt Maldre What an eye opener. 56) 80 and five loving great grand children 57) 80 means you are GREAT, besides being a great-grandma! Great hub! Now that your mood has been bolstered, it's time to have a laugh at your own expense. "I've raised my kids." We can't stop it, but we can laugh at it and keep our thinking young. .". If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain because you stop laughing. Interesting. Jerry M. Wright. You might be getting old if you are now the age you used to think was old, but now it doesn’t seem so old anymore. The “young old” are aged 65 to 74. However, there are some benefits - free bus passes and other discounts and definitely retirement. You can't stay young forever. maybe I should do a sequel. aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. First you forget names, then you forget faces. Catherine Giordano (author) from Orlando Florida on April 19, 2017: Greensleeves Hubs: We all get old. So are your doctors. The country with the highest proportion of older per people (aged 65+) is Japan. In the United States, we have a group known as the baby boomers, people born in the years immediately after World War II from 1946 to 1964. Rochelle Frank from California Gold Country on February 27, 2015: Some good lines here-- now how do we remember them? Allow me to help with the following lists of signs of old age. Thank you for commenting. For me, getting older doesn't mean throwing away a favourite-coloured lipstick or a fabulous pair of boots; instead, it's about harnessing all the great things I have learnt over the years about what does and doesn't suit me, and enjoying the way in which cleverly selected outfits can enhance the nice bits. That’s a lot of years of being old. Lorelei Cohen from Canada on March 01, 2015: We are indeed an aging population. 1. The country with the lowest elderly population is United Arab Emirates. Aging should include a fun whales? We will provide you a report full of interesting stuff. You're getting old. I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I over Wal-Mart. It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired. Not me! As such, here you have my top 10 things either I hate (or friends have said they hate) about getting old. Here, then, are 25 great songs about old people: honky-tonk ballads and Tin Pan Alley standards and French chanson and rumba and, yes, Jay-Z, who kicks off his ode to … "I want to have fun." got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start You made me laugh. Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You Catherine Giordano (author) from Orlando Florida on March 02, 2015: cam8510: I'm glad I made you laugh because your comment made me laugh. I think those would have stumped oldsters 10 years ago, however. You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good. Catherine Giordano (via Pixabay, modified). Congratulations. Voted this UP , shared here and on Google+. When you go out your energy runs out before your money does.
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